Kate Prowse usually loves party season – she says it’s the time when she can finally let her hair down.
“Generally, it’s a race to the finish line when you’re getting towards the end of the year as everyone’s burning the candle at both ends,” says the group account director at Melbourne creative agency TABOO. The festive season is the perfect opportunity to “release that pressure”.
But 2020 has been a year unlike any other. After working from home for the best part of it, Prowse has felt disconnected from colleagues. She’s missed the incidental chats as they walk out of a conference room, and the long conversations they’d have over lunch.
Her workplace has tried to form a cohesive vibe, putting together a Zoom lunchroom and organising non-work related virtual catch-ups. She’s also made an effort to stay in touch, calling colleagues when she goes for a walk and touching base after Zoom meetings. But it hasn’t been the same.
She is far from the only person in that boat, says life and relationship coach, Megan Luscombe. “I work with loads of corporates who’ve really struggled with not being in close proximity to their colleagues,” she says. “I think it’s really affected their interpersonal relationships and impacted them greatly.”
Psychologist Dr Ann Pensom, director of The Change Navigators, agrees. She says it’s obvious that isolation has been tough on most people, and there’s now a range of emotions leading into the festive season.
There’s excitement, she says, but also fatigue and stress. Plus, more people are experiencing anxiety and depression. “So they’re unlikely to be in the same kind of headspace they were in when we knew them this time last year.”
But there are ways you can reconnect with colleagues ahead of festivities. Luscombe says meeting up with people one-on-one or in small groups is a great start.
When you get together, be honest about how you’re feeling. “The best thing to say is, ‘This feels really strange for me, and I’m a little bit nervous about it. How are you feeling?’” says Luscombe. “You’ll often find most people are thinking the exact same thing.”
She says being vulnerable allows you to break down barriers and foster a sense of connection. “Vulnerability is actually one of the biggest strengths in interpersonal relationships.”
Alternatively, Luscombe says a quick text message or phone call can get the ball rolling. Just don’t assume you know how someone else is feeling, Pensom adds. She advises navigating all interactions with an “increased sense of care”. Ask people how they’re faring, but “go gently” in your approach.
If you’re worried about what you’ll talk about, you’re not alone. After months of not really seeing other people, Luscombe says it’s “absolutely normal” to be socially anxious. Having some go-to topics up your sleeve beforehand can help, she says, as that will make you feel more in control of the situation.
Pensom recommends starting with the “basics”, asking people about themselves, their family and their pets. Next, move on to “fun” topics. Find out what TV series they binged in lockdown, which books and movies they recommend, and what cooking craze they embraced.
Once you’ve skimmed the surface, Pensom says you might want to dive deeper. She says asking people what they learned about themselves this year, and whether that’s changed their outlook, can launch you into a more honest, meaningful conversation. You might not want to go there with everyone, Pensom says, but it could be a question for the right moment.
How you get together to celebrate holiday season is another challenge unique to 2020. Some workplaces may meet up in real life, with a focus on outdoor gatherings such as picnics, or smaller dinners for individual teams. Others may opt to host virtually.
Gina Samuels, general manager at The Production House Events, says that without having to invest in a “full-blown Christmas party”, many businesses are splashing cash on livening up Zoom events instead.
Some are sending out hampers in advance to their employees, packed with items like cocktail-making kits and nibbles. Others are hosting game show nights with lucrative prizes. Virtual events can be “fun and celebratory,” Samuels notes.
But a face-to-face Christmas party may be just what the doctor ordered. And it can be delayed until next year. “Nobody says season parties have to happen in December,” says Luscombe.
Prowse’s office is planning an in-person gathering to say good riddance to 2020. She can’t imagine what’s in store for this year’s event, but says the part she’s looking forward to most is the chance to spend quality time with her colleagues after such a challenging year.
